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I moved to Berlin alone not knowing anyone. I´m not scared of doing things alone, in fact I actually like it. I always strived for being independet. I´m really blessed with having friends but when I came to Berlin I was on my own. I spend a whole lot of time calling everyone, in fact I called them every day. At least two friends plus several calls to my mom monday to sunday. To be honest I still do. I´m afraid of losing contact with them just because we don´t see each other as often.
I made a post in the facebook group for swedish people in Berlin about me being new in town looking for friends. Luckily I got a whole lot of answers. There where a lot of people in the same situation as me all looking for company. There´s actually a whole lot of facebook groups and apps to meet new friends. Some recommendations are “Expat ladies in Berlin” on facebook, “Go Friendly” (these to are unfortnutaly only for women) and “Bumble BFF”. There´s also several other groups on facebook for finding friends. If you for example are interested in music you can join “musicians in Berlin” on Facebook. Or search for another group for a interest of yours. You can also join a facebook group for your nationality in Berlin. Swedish people in Berlin helped me get jobs, flats and friends.
New friends doesn´t come overnight. I felt bored and alone a lot this past year. I know it takes some time to build new relationships and it´s not until recently I actually feel like I have some established friendships. So what I did a lot of times was going on tinder. I like tinder a lot, it´s a fun way to pass time and meet new people. I actually met some friends there but mostly it was just dating. Nothing against dating but when you´re new in a city it´s way more important to have friends rather than dates. In most cases friends are way more reliable and gives you more space to focus on getting your life together. To be honest I spend way to much time on tinder. But I was resteless and wanted quick company so I went out there. I had a lot of fun and got a lot of disappointment but it also took away my focus from actually trying to find real friends.
During my first months in Berlin I worked long shifts every weekend and barely had any friends so I went out to clubs alone during the weekdays. This might seem a little dangerous but I can be a little reckless sometimes. I really started liking a club called Kitkat. It was straight from my place on the U8 and had great parties on Wednesdays. For a lot of people Kitkat is known as a crazy sexclub, which is partially true, but it´s also a nice and open minded space with a great atmosphere on the dancefloor. It wasn´t weird going there alone because you could talk and hang out with everyone. Nowadays I´m there doing whip-sessions and bdsm performances but still love the club for the same reasons I did in the beginning.
When you´re trying to make new friends you have to be patient. Give everyone a chance, a lot of times the people we don´t expect we´d get along with the ones we like the most. Search for events and go there alone and mingle. Sometimes you end up not talking to anyone but it´s still a good practise for socialising.With time it will feel more natural and less uncomfortable.
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