MENY
In a little while I´m going to Amanda´s place to have dinner and get ready for the evening. We´re going to Kitkat and I will help her pick out an outfit. I have a feeling she has an amazing closet. She has this gothic style and from her descriptions
it seems super nice. She lives just a few busstations from my house which is super convenient Today I tried to download the sounds to my new midi-pad but everything was just confusing as always when I´m doing technical stuff. But I think I´m on the
right way. I realized I don´t even have the right cable to plug in the pad so I can´t try anything before monday since all the stores are closed on Sunday´s.
I also wanted to buy some other stuff like a notebook, canvases since I feel some inspiration to paint and a new pair of headphones to use when I record. I first went to East Side Mall which is a new shopping center at Warschauer Strasse and is the closest
one to where I live. But I just thought the staff in the technical store was rude so I went to Alexanderplatz. It might have been a mistake since it´s Saturday and it´s crazy crowded. I found some off the stuff I needed but then I felt totally exhausted
so I had to go home. I still feel a little over socialized even though I spent the whole day alone. I think it will be fun to go to Kitkat though. I haven´t been there in more than a week. I ordered my first pair of whips from my mentor also. It will
be two floggers since that´s the equipment I need the most to make nice looking sessions. But I want to buy som other ones too but I really can´t spend more money this month. I´m actually good at saving money. I like to save up for more nice stuff
I really want or need.
I also feel a bit stressed since I have so many friends I want to hang out with. Most of them have been out of Berlin and now when they´re back I don´t have so much time anymore. I think that they also are busy a lot and it just makes me scared that we
will lose contact. It´s really risky with new friendships that hasn´t been stabilised. Next week I have rehearsal and two shows at a big fetish festival here in Berlin so then I will really not have time. But after that I really want to try to catch
up with friends. I also want to get more connected to people in my class. We´re just 13 people and everyone is super nice. I already hanged out a lot with some off them. Then it´s my lovely friends in Sweden. Some of them I talk to almost every day,
the others I try to catch up with like every other week. It´s so important for me to be close to my friends. I prefer to have less but closer friends rather than a lot of friends that I just party or just not really talk deep with. The thing
about moving is that I have way more friends now and I can´t hang out with the old ones in the same way anymore.
I also feel like I really need some more alone time. I´m kinda extrovert but really need to be alone in between to gain new energy. I´m more extrovert now than I was a few years ago actually. Then I needed to spend way more time alone. I feel like I´m
getting back to that again though, which is completely fine. The problem is that I want to keep in touch with all my friends. I´m so grateful for all of them and I don´t which away anyone of them. But I don´t know how to manage everything. A lot of
times I´m also the person who keeps up the contact. I´m sending texts and calls people way more than they call me and I´m kinda used to it because I know that they don´t dislike me, they´re just not putting in as much energy as me to take care about
the relation. When writing this I realise that might be a reason to why I feel so stressed. Well I can´t think about this anymore now because I have to got to the bus and drive to Amanda.
Alexanderplatz
0