MENY
Today I didn´t have any classes but I went to school anyways to have a tutorial with a teacher to get help with my midi-controller. I´m really bad at technical and electronic things and even though I watched like twenty youtube videos I still don´t understand. He help me find the software so now I can actually use it but I know I will need more help. We have three semesters in our school and for each we have six tutorials that are twenty minutes long. We can book it with any teacher and get help with whatever questions we might have. It´s great but enoying that they are so short and you can´t book two after each other.
Afterwards I had booked a rehearsal room to practise drums and piano. It was a long time since I played and really felt it. I wasn´t in a good mood though. I´ve been feeling a little down this last two days and I hope it´s just hormones because life is still great in general. I did a performance with the crew again on saturday at Venus. I was in a way better mood then. Lucia was also there and we had some bears and looked at dildos. Afterwards we all went to Kitkat. It was fun but I felt a bit oversocialised so I went home quite early.
I spent both Sunday and Monday alone and I really feel how I´m getting back into my own mind. I´ve been living on the outside a lot lately and haven´t fully been in contact with my inner self. Now I´m feeling a bit dissociated though I´m having some flashbacks to how my life used to be and feel like, it´s been changing so much and so many times which confuses my view over everything. Don´t get me wrong here, I know where I am but I´m still not really grounded in my mind. Because other places and times also exist and I´m there in the thoughts sometimes. I´m dreaming about things connected with my past which also affects me. I don´t think it´s in a bad way but it´s a deeper feeling of life even if I don´t get deeper into anything.
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