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New week and my throat is so sore. I have no food in the fridge and no plans until Wednesday when I’m going to Sweden for a week. Yesterday I slept the whole day and was awake in the night. The WiFi in the house works again and my mobile data don’t, it’s always something. But I watched some YouTube and mostly felt frustrated.
I should clean, cook or at least do something but I don’t have the energy to. And I really don’t want to sleep more because then I won’t be able to sleep tonight. So this is where my life is at the moment. So god damm boring.
I’m fucking up all my paper work and it feels like I don’t have any control because everything is so complicated with school and Swedish CSN (which handles money for studying). But I think it will work out and then I’ll start school in two weeks. It feels really good because I need some structure and also focusing way more on my music creating. When I’m writing and somehow get a flow it feels like nothing else matters and I’m so crazy fulfilled and euphoric. And then I feel like I have my own purpose. There’s other things that matters in life like friends, family and fun times. But this is completely my own thing and I actually dare to rely on it because I’m the one in charge. If you understand.
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