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Good Afternoon! I´m home in Berlin again and still haven´t really gotten out of bed even though I ate breakfast and lunch here. I get so slow when I don´t have anything I have to do even if there´s plenty of things I could do. But I will probably leave the house soon. It´s so sunny outside and my favourite candy shop is having a big sale. They are closing for a while due to the corona crisis and I want to support them (and buy shit loads of snacks).
I was looking at some old pictures yesterday. It all started with snapchat reminding me what I did a year ago today. Apparently I was going on a video rant about a guy who accused me for acting crazy. I was acting crazy, in the video, but come on it´s fun! Then I started to go down memory lane and actually felt really disassociated. I remembered my past feelings way clearer and it almost felt like I was there. I have a lot of good memories from the last two years but behind everything there´s been a lot of sad emotions. I mostly thought about how fun I had looking back at all the pictures yesterday but I think I´m filtering out all the bad shit.
I´m happier now. I remember my life being so together this fall when I started university. I still got my shit together but It´s just been a big mess lately with a lot of practical stuff. Yes I can actually genuinely say that I´m happier now and it´s not just because I´m in love and in a relationship. Because I actually felt great before that even if the fact that I´m happy in a romantic way has a big impact on my general well being. I don´t know if I like to admit it thought because I´m a bit sceptical to people who´s only relying on love to make them fulfilled. I just think we need a good mix of healthy relationships, meaningful activities and safety with money and housing to feel happy. Or at least to feel ok, then there´s a lot more that has an impact on our life from time to time but it´s important to remember the basics and to figure out exactly what you need to feel good.
I feel like it would be reasonable to put in some pictures from this time one year ago but I really couldn´t fin anything that made sense.
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