MENY
Yesterday evening I met up with Märta, her boyfriend and their friends. They had fried chicken and I ate a falafel. Then we went to get beer. We ended up in a bar and met their other friends, we became a really big group which I have a little hard time handeling because I can´t focus with all the noise and different people. I drank two bears and felt drunk. I don´t feel well when I´m drunk these days. Just like a year ago I use to think it could be really fun to drink with friends and go to parties. Now I just get dizzy and feel a little sick. It´s not even the fact that I´m drinking a lot, I usually drink like two glases of wine and a beer.
I used to drink way more when I lived in sweden, there´s a completely different drinking culture over there. You drink like one time a week (maybe two) and when you do you drink like crazy. You drink like there´s no tomorrow. If you´re at a pre-party everyone asks each other if they´re drunk or complaining about not being drunk enough. I don´t like that culture because it makes everyone completely fucked up. This heavily drinking continues 52 weeks a year and it´s the same thing every time. People open up and having breakdowns over suppressed feelings. Some get in conflicts, others throwing up, chain smoking or having bad drunk sex. This is a really cynical rant and I´ve actually had a lot of fun partying like this. But most of the times it just made me feel empty. Because it´s not about creativity, it´s not about filosophy or anything mind expanding or actually really funny. It´s a whole lot of superficial drama. Of course it´s not like this at all parties and hangouts including alcohol. But I´ve experienced a lot of it with people who don´t really know each other and doesn´t get to know each other because the conversations doesn´t lead anywhere or get forgotten.
I like to drink wine, beer and drinks, it tastes good and in someway it can feel a little special to drink alcohol. But I don´t like the drunk feeling I get these days so maybe it´s time for me to look for alcohol-free options. I do really appreciate alcohol-free beer but I haven´t went out on the wine market yet.
This whole thing about me feeling bad after alcohol might have to do with the fact that I´m asian since asian people are way more sensitive. But I didn´t feel this way like a year ago. Am I getting old at 20? I´ve never related to people who says that they feel better while drinking or that it takes their anxiety away for a while. Most of my friends actually say so. But I guess it´s a good thing because I´m not really in the risk zone for alcoholism.
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