MENY
I´m back in Sundsvall. It almost feels like I´m back in my old life two years ago before I moved to Berlin. I worked at the same job in elder care and hung out with the same friends. Or actually I have more friends here in Sundsvall now than when I left, a lot of people have come back into my life which I´m really happy about. But it´s not really the same, Kaspar is here with me and he´s such a big new part of my life. I really feel like he wants to be with me since he decided to spend his whole summer in a city where he doesn´t know anyone and work at a job he never experienced before. (Maybe the job situation was a no choice situation though since we really need money to pay our rent in Berlin…) But I´m really glad that he wanted to come with me to Sundsvall. At the moment his visiting his brother in Umeå and will be gone for four days. We haven´t been away from each other this long since December and it feels really weird. I miss him a lot but I also think it´s good for us to learn to be apart sometimes. I feel like I mostly can practise my creativity when he´s around but I will have even more time to write music now.
I need to be alone to be able to really focus and get into the flow of writing songs. Sometimes a closed door is enough but I only feel fully relaxed when I´m completely alone. I need to have my space to try out ideas without worrying about that someone would hear me and judge my singing and writing from my failed attempts. When we were in Berlin me and Kaspar used to take turns to leave our one room apartment so that the other one would have their time to write music. I hope I can make the best of this alone time and write music. I will go to work on Saturday and Sunday but I´m finishing at 4:30pm both days so I can´t really use that as an excuse. I´m also gonna meet up with friends which is great but also one of my most common ways of procrastination.
I actually took a break writing this to call Manfred and schedule a songwriting session later today. He´s my best songwriting partner who I actually can write music together with. Or mostly he´s giving me great ideas and feedback when I´m trying to write something but he also got great songwriting skills of his own. You can check out his punk band on Spotify or YouTube, they´re called ”Hårdgnissel”.
It feels great to be back at work in elder care. I´m especially close with one of the old ladies who I also exchanged letters with while I lived in Berlin. We can talk about everything and she´s so curios and open minded even though she´s almost 90 years old. She loves books and art and has been a climate activist. There´s also a lot of other great people over there and I really love my job even though I think it can be really hard and stressful sometimes. Now I´m only gonna work full time on a schedule for a month but I remember how tired I was after working less than part time for a year and then doing full time for two moths. I really admire the people in elder care and all the other people who works with healthcare. I think it´s not paid well enough though. Not for me who doesn´t have an education and especially not for the educated health professionals. I earn less than my sister who´s 18 and flipping hamburgers and my friend Albin who works at the library and mostly reading books during his working hours. I don´t think that their professions are unnecessary but I think the society should pay greater respect to the people who´s taking care of the sick ones. And a good way of doing that is to give them a proper salary.
Writing this led me into a whole new topic of socialism and climate consciousness but it has to be another post because or else it will be stated once and for all that I can´t keep up a red thread.
Here´s some pictures from when we celebrated Swedish Midsummer. My cousin and sister are trying to get drunk before and during dinner.
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